THE TORTURED MANIACS SC RUN
Bösel 13 – 15 AUG 04

By Dave Gibbs

Why is it that when you’re at work the weather is great and as soon as the weekend arrives it’s raining cats and dogs and various other four legged beasts? As soon as I’d wheeled the scoot out of the garage it started raining, so I suppose I should have guessed that I was due for a wet journey. I waited an hour or so in the hope that things might improve, but I it was not to be. Undeterred, I pulled on my waterproofs and started off on the 150 km (that’s about 95 miles in old money) journey to Bösel. Thankfully, the most direct route for me meant no Autobahn riding and there was very little traffic on the roads. 2 ½ wet hours later I arrived at the run site having discovered that my waterproof trousers were inaccurately named due to a soaking “meat and two veg”. The final part of the ride had the greatest potential for a “where the **** am I?” scenario, but thanks to some excellent signing by The Tortured Maniacs, it was a piece of cake. On arrival I was greeted by Ian Botham, Craig Ballantyne, John Wymark and Steve Evans who’d been there about half an hour and were already attacking their first cans of alcoholic refreshment. Luckily for me, they had brought plenty with them and a can of ‘Wobbly’ was soon thrust into my hand as I started putting up my tent. The usual friendly banter flew round the five of us as we compared the run site with several training areas we had frequented and generally moaned about the weather. Naturally our spirits were anything but dampened and we were soon well on the way to some serious hangovers. The TM SC had selected their usual venue for the run and I have to say it was an ideal setting. For those who haven’t been, the campsite was next to a (very small) lake, with a wooden hall providing the location for the nighter, a separate bar and a makeshift covered area between the two. For the numbers in attendance (I reckon a couple of hundred) it was ideal and there was even a log fire in the hall.
 

This was the furthest north I had traveled since leaving Hohne in ’98 and it was no surprise to see many familiar faces and re-acquaint myself with a lot of old friends. A special mention to Christian (a fellow HEIDE HEIZER) and his girlfriend Ilka who turned up unannounced during the Friday night and helped make the weekend so enjoyable. For many Scooterists, Friday night on a run is always the best and for me it was a cracker. The music was excellent, the hosts perfect and the company exceptional. I have no idea what time it was when I eventually staggered off to find my tent, but many party animals out-lasted me and I fell asleep with the sound of Northern Soul still filling the air.

Saturday morning arrived with bright sunshine and the usual brass band kicking off in my head and my early morning refreshment consisted of a lot of water and a couple of headache pills. Luckily others were in a far better state than me and I was provided with a cup of coffee and a waffle whilst still languishing in my sleeping bag. Many thanks to Christian and Alex for the room service! The Hohne crew were disappointed to have to leave due to previous commitments and as I watched them packing up it suddenly occurred to me that I was about to become the only Brit in the place. Of course, this wasn’t the first time and it gave me the chance to try and improve my German.

Eventually I dragged myself out of my tent and general agreement was reached between Christian, Ilke, and their friends that McDonalds was the order of the day so we rode to one of the nearby towns to fill our faces. By now the sun was beating down and it was a far more pleasant experience riding through the German countryside than it had been the previous day. Unfortunately we managed to miss the games whilst we were away but I can tell you that there was a lot of water involved and more than a little flour judging by the remains left at the site. The remainder of the afternoon was spent chatting whilst sitting round a paddling pool filled with cold water (very refreshing on the feet) covering a multitude of different subjects. Cooper and Martin (two of my long time German mates) kept me busy while they practiced their English and the highlight of the chat had to be when the subject of humor was brought up. Now I know that Germans like a good laugh just as much as us Brits, so I thought it might be a good idea to introduce these guys to some typical British humor and in particular the Blackadder Goes Forth series. I soon realised that I may have bitten off more than I could chew when I tried to explain why the line “square heads down for the big Bosh gangbang” was funny. To their credit, they tried their best to understand but in the end I think they gave up. Still, I laughed! The next event on the programme was the ¼ miler, which was as hotly (and quickly) contested as ever. The speed of some of the small frames is quite mind-boggling. Next up was the custom show. The Tortured Maniacs had decided that the judging would be done by the rally-goers instead of the club and although we’re used to ‘Punter’s Choice’ on UK rallies, I thought getting the punters to choose the winners of all the categories was excellent. I was also impressed by the number of votes cast. No sooner had the voting slips and pens been distributed than what I could only describe as a ‘voting frenzy’ followed. I was quite surprised by the results, although I really shouldn’t have been. The taste in scooters around Germany varies hugely and what might be right for someone from the south may be quite different to the style favored in the north. Hats off to the TM SC for the voting concept and for the very smart trophies they provided.
 

On the subject of hats, this was another run where there were no patches available. The organisers chose to give out free sun hats instead and there were some interesting variations on how they should be worn. For the follicly challenged, the hats must have been a Godsend in the sun and they gave a lot of people the opportunity to make themselves look as daft as possible. I wondered why the hats had ‘2013’ printed on the front, as I could see no relevance to anything. It was explained to me that Hells Angels use numbers to represent letters on their jackets etc and that the TM SC had used the same concept with T being the 20th letter of the alphabet and M being the 13th. Before you start using your fingers to confirm it, trust me, it works! The fine weather resulted in everyone staying outside drinking and chatting even when the nighter began. It must have been soul destroying (forgive the pun) for the DJ to play to an empty room, although several people did wander into the hall for a dance when their favourite track was played. After a few hours, the temptation for a bit of foot stomping became too much for more and more people and the hall began filling up until it was bursting at the seams. There was the usual mixture of music played, (including that Unknown Stuntman thing) although I have to say that Nolan Porter’s ‘If I Could Only Be Sure’ had more people up and dancing than any other tune. Sven Fuhrer had arrived during the afternoon and amazed me with his ability to speak English even though he was as drunk as a lord. It was an excellent night and I had to force myself to go to bed at 2 am even though I was sorely tempted to stay a lot longer.

I was pleased to wake up the next day and find that it wasn’t raining and also a lot cooler than the previous day. I had a great ride back although I couldn’t help feeling a bit down at the thought that this might have been my last run this season.

Thanks to the Tortured Maniacs for organising such an excellent weekend and a special thanks to two of the club who went out of their way to tell me that they were pleased to have me there and I would be welcome to attend their future runs. It’s always good to be made welcome. To the many people I chatted and drank with over the weekend, thanks for your company and to the AFSC members attending the IOW, have a superb weekend.

Ravey Davey.
 

MENU