by Mik Boon aged 57
and a quarter
What a weekend. The best thrash for many a year without a doubt. First time I a few years both me and Sue have ridden a scoot each there, but for once both her PK and my LML were in top top order and so we loaded them up , with as much creature comforts as my old bones could need \ carry. Newark is 57 miles from us , so it wasnít too far and we made it easily with no issues other than the sweltering Mediterranean sun beating down on our well protected backs , No wonder rockers stink! We made it in just over 1.5 hours which is good for Lincolnshire roads even in the car. The site was enormous, must stretch a couple of miles in every direction , for the train spotters Newark showground is on the site of the former WW2 RAF Winthorpe. We arrived Just as Colin and Angie Falgate got there with their son Mick and his wife Lisa in a small mobile country. We got the tent up and their home all set up only to be told by Andy Butler of an incredibly helpful Newark scooter club, that they had set the next patch up specifically for us. Solly was already there and so we upped and moved. The site had been laid out with electric hook ups for us as well as water Bollocks to back to basics. This is rallying in comfort.
Si arrived soon after with a horsebox stacked with our kit. Me Solly and Si had the 12 x 12 tent up in record time and beer was cracked . Over the next few hours members started rolling in first was Dave and Pauline Condron , Dave had luckily had a kidney transplant op cancelled the day before otherwise he may have missed it!. Dad and lad OíMalley, Tim , Kev, Oggy and Tanky steamed in later and Phil Tasha and Pip even fetched the ladies toilet with them. Joey Helen Daz C and Claire. Daz S and Phillipa managed to get there but took no further part in riding their dead GTS, Ravy Davy turned up looking as cool as ever. Jinx and Xiaohui arrived Thrash virgins Rob Murch ,Jody, Paul Craven and Lynn who had travelled up with their civvy club Grimsby scooter club all ensuring that we need not go to the do as the party was on the field. We eventually went over to find the down side of the venue, An expensive poorly staffed bar average waiting time for a drink was about 45 minutes. No fault of the Newark scooterists but the venue owners need to sort that one out, if only for their own profit margin. I for one didnít buy a drink off them all weekend. An extortionate burger van added to their woes, Luckily there was a reasonably priced mobile shop tipped up. We decided to leave the main room and head to the northern room about a mile away!!! This certainly was a massive site. Same problems getting a drink , but to be honest I was past caring by then , a couple of cases of beer at sainsburys was more than enough. By midnight sunstroke or beer had took their toll and I was in bedÖ in a large electrically inflated bed.. Bliss.
Saturday morning up at the crack of sparrows to find more members turned up. Angus, Dale and Linzi, Coaty who made a concerted effort and got there after leaving his poor missus in hospital and coming afterwards. We saddled up 1000hrs zulu ish and road the 1 mile to the friendly farmer for a brekkie. Served by the Mexican maid from family guy who held Siís black pudding on the plate with her left nipple , I had the herdsman and most others chose to have the farmers wife. Pausing for photos, see on facebook, we then rode the 7 miles to Bassingham in Lincs to pay our respects at the local thingyÖ err garanity Ö err memorial thatís it. 36 members and partners joined the ride the locals were very interested and happy to see us there. After taking our time to remember our lost comrades friends and family, we rode back to Newark, Rob Murch broke down , he thought, a popped off plug cap replaced by the time we caught him. Unfortuneately we all stopped . Sue stalled and couldnít get it started again , so I went to her assistance like the knight in rusty armour that I am. Unfortunately the uneven layby didnít like my scoot stood up so it hit the deck snapping my brake lever and scratching paint. Looks like Iíll get a new spray job!!!!!
Back to the site and we started on the cold ones again. Set up the BBQ and stole every piece of garden furniture within a 100 yard radius. I spent the afternoon trying to stop Tony from being an arsonistÖ he was doing it all wrong. The port flowed, the applecorn flowed, the brandy whisky lager cider beer etc flowed. Then the girls went into the tent to change for ladies night in secret, from all but our resident perv Hoggy that is. TDFB! Coming out in no time looking the best yet. Fairy tale chara cters. Sue as goldilocks , Helen snow white , Jody was Minnie mouse , Tasha, cruella de ville and pip a dirty little dalmatian. The seven dwarfs were damned ungrateful that their eyeholes didnít match Ma wife stayed up all night makin those dang masks! After the traditional BBQ tattooing was side stepped the girls did a little waxing . eyebrows , disappeared chests disappeared ravys arse cheeks were as smooth as a babys bum , Iíll be banned off facebook again. Ö
The girls went off and did that thing the girls do so well . raising money for BLESMA. I wont reveal the figure yet as Sue needs to let the girls know first , but I can say the scooterists at Newark were very generous indeed.
On to the do and a repeat of the night before, no chance of a beer at the bar. A brilliant weekend spoilt only by a knobhead scooter club, they know who they areÖ more importantly , we know who they are.
Sunday morning , everyone was up early and packing tents away , we got the 12 X 12 down and packed properly under Sollys expert supervision, Then it was time for goodbye hugs and kisses. We left the site at 1000hrs and stopped at the nearest petrol station to fill up. Thatís when our issues started within 2 miles Sues PK started to play up , over revving stopping , we pulled over as did our hero Paul craven. I nicer giant you could not meet. The carb union felt a little loose, so to get at the flaming bolt, seat off back rack off tank out, what a pain in the arse small frames are. All back together within 20 minutes and we got back on the road, after 20 miles it started again, and so did mine. The last 30 miles was limped home stopping every mile or so , Looks like we got some shit fuel , so Murco at Newark A46 . kiss my arse.
This thrash will be remembered for a couple of wrong things and a thousand right things. Over 50 members turned up in the end plus friends and family. The sun shone all weekend to the point of sunburn. Long live the AFSC!