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Skegness By Uggy

Skegness was set to be a good run with quite a few turning out instead of making the massive hike to Kelso from down south, I was up bright and early to sort out the scoots as Jeanette had to work until 12.30.

Before i knew it i had been down to Daz the dogs to help him swap engines from the crow and wise guys and it was already lunch time, Andy and Lou arrived at mine shortly followed by Jeanette, cups of tea drank bacon butties eaten it was time to hit the road and meet up with Si B.

A quick chat of cack then on the road we got. Straight up the A1 for our first pit stop at Peterborough for petrol then off again, It was at this point things didn't go according to plan, As we pulled out of the garage a kind guy let out Si, Andy and myself before deciding to take Jeanette clean of her scoot as i looked back over my shoulder all i could see was scoot on floor and Jeanette motionless next to it, my heart was in my mouth as i hurried to put my scoot on its stand and run back up the road to her, a hole lot of emotions running through my mind but my main concern of course was Jeanette,

A little dazed she clambered to her feet after a couple of minutes aided my Andy, Si and a guy that had stopped to assist, once things settled down i realized i still didn't know who had hit her so went looking only to find some guy doing the dreaded school run, straight away i asked how his little boy was in the car and bit my lip, Police, Ambulances and witnesses all sorted we followed the law up to hospital to get Jeanette sorted.

As we headed into the city centre following the police car with Jeanette in we crossed a roundabout with Si in front again my heart was in my mouth as a mini came flying round it and all i could do was wait for the crunch but fortunately Si slammed on and so did the mini only to miss his rear right hand side by no more than 12 inches, Si opened up the scoot and got out of there only for a taxi to come flying round and shunt the mini up the arse, laugh i nearly pissed my self as i avoided both vehicles in pursuit of Si and the police.

Jeanette at hospital the police said to be careful on roundabouts and dually informed us it was time for their brake and hadn't seen a thing, (top lads)

So flying visit to hospital to find out there was a 2 and a half hour wait Jeanette asked to be transfered to Skeg so 2 up we headed off and made the rest of the journey in just under 2 hours.

As we arrived news got to us that taffy had dropped his scoot on route but was ok and still on the move.

Tents up beer out jeanette sorted it was time for hello's and more beer, Carl Tanky and Lou already on site along with Sue B who had done the trip on her own (well in girl) We spent the first 5 hours or so catching up drinking loads of beers and having a bloody good laugh mainly at Jeanette and Taffy's expense.

We left the site at about 10ish to head into town and found our self's in whisky a go go until the wee hours.

Daz and Rain had set out but a little seizure ended there trip early, (both arrived the next morning)

The night just seemed to go and before we new it we were back on site drinking outside the tents until 0600 at which point i had to turn in, some kid telling us why he didn't have to work and that society would pay for him, ( I did my fair share of lip biting over the weekend)

Although not getting in my snatcher until 0600 i was up at 0900 for coffee and a giggle at the goings on of the night before and then back on it at 0930 with myself Si B Donna and Aaron, Lou took Jeanette down to x-ray and return at 1100 to join us on the lash, the morning slipped by with a few of us taking our first outing on Taffy's GTS. and i must admit i was impressed to bits with the ride.( I'm not converted though) (yet!!!!!) Aaron though took an instant dislike to it t and threw it down the camp site, fortunately on the same side Taffy had done the day before and no further damage.

We all headed into town and the parts fair at about 1300 hours and this time we struck lucky as someone had left the fire escape open so we all wandered in and took a look around only to find what is the norm these day loads of chrome and clothes and feck all that will assist if out goes tits up, Off to the pub it was then, again back to whisky a go go and the after noon was great, top rally tunes which Si kept on saying "oh i love this it is my all time fave" to every other tune

After some food Jeanette asked if anyone would like to take a wander and get out of the pub for an hour so Myself Jeanette Rain and Daz took a stroll along the front, We took a visit to a sweet shop and then on too another one at which Daz took it upon himself to ask the old dear behind the counter, "Excuse me luv but who packs your fudge"??
I thought i was going to do a Bish there and then and piss my pants but held on only for Daz to then say "Im only asking because I am very fussy who packs my fudge" that was it game over tears rolling down our faces backs aching and passers by thinking what the hell are they on we made our way back to meet up with every one at the pub,

We all met at the LILYWHITES football club where we were all welcomed and proceeded to get even more drunk than we already were. Si C had arrived and the normal loud banter continued, onto the Ship pub for more beer and to see a Who tribute band (Shit is all i can say) think that is why we all stayed outside. Off again into town and back to whisky a go go for a couple before turning out for food and back to camp at about 0100.

Sunday morning brought the normal hangovers and time too pack up camp and make our way home, We left at about 1030 to fill up and got on the road for about 1100, Jeanette and Lou headed off infornt with Daz and Rain bringing up the rear for Repairs support,

The weather was bloody awful as you would expect on a bank holiday weekend but despite the rain and wind we made good time and got to mine for 1400, well myself and Si B did, Andy had got water in his electrics at Peterborough and neither Si or I looked back just opened the throttle and put our heads down, Sorry Andy!!

Back at mine Jeanette with broken hand prepared a wonderful chicken dinner that went down a treat.

All in all Skegness had been a ball despite the hick ups on route, Im glad you all turned out and that you all made it home safe, I look forward to seeing you all again soon. In the mean time ride safe and thrash the fecker.

Regards to all that made Skegness what it was you all know who you are.


Skegness By simon cuerden

Just back from Skeggy having ridden through the early hours of Sunday morning having to get back for a family commitment.

The Lincolnshire countryside at night is a dark and eerie place to ride through with next to zero traffic and long smooth roads that make your speed creep up and up with only the odd yellow camera and bend to slow you down.

Before you know it you are zipping through the ancient Kingdom of Lindsey with villages like Little Gonad and Upper Trumpet with their twinkling little lights dancing like stars on your bug squashed visor. It gets cold at night and the wind roars across the flat open farm land.

I slowed down for a 50mph zone and a bunch of greedy cameras, my speed was further calmed due to a sharp right turn obscured either side by tall hedges, this is when I saw the fox! She was running along side the road no more than ten feet in front of me with her head tuned towards the other side of the road, before I could blink she was on the road in front of me and under the scooter! The double crunch was like when you hit a sleeping policeman by surprise, bad enough in a car but doing this on a scooter can have devastating effects, luckily my speed was down to a controllable pace due entirely to the speed cameras and the corner. I stayed on the scooter and the gods where smiling on me this night. Pulling up at the next illuminated spot I dismounted to check the damage, not a dent! I carried on my merry way and I don’t mind admitting that I was quite shook up and not in the Elvis jump suit way!

I don’t know what it was this particular weekend but The
AFSC had its fair share of scooter bumps and near misses! Jeannette was hit by a knob head car driver and has now got her hand and wrist in plaster, Si Brunskill was nearly taken out by a mini driver, no Toy Town jokes please! The mini that narrowly missed Simon slammed full on at a round about giving Simon a near heart attack then the mini was smacked up its back side, justice done me thinks. Taffy then decides to go diesel skating on his GTS hitting a patch of spill on a round about bringing him off and damaging the paint work!

Skeggy this year was teaming with scootz and the only downer for most was the distance from the camp site, just that little too far to stumble with an open kebab and £8 for the taxi is ok unless there are only two sharing. There was a fair whack of pubs and smaller clubs catering for the Scooterists with the usual and not so usual music spewing out turning the place into an eighties theme park, not too hard for Skegness to do. The VFM did what they do best and gave live bands plus the top Run DJs to spank out the best of Northernsoul and Scootering faves. Again there where the normal winges at the prices but these are the same winges that have been bouncing around for the last two or three decades.

On Saturday Si Brunskill had a good old attempt at the world’s drunkest scooterists with a valiant attempt, challenged strongly by Uggy, both runners where neck and neck only to be piped at the post by one of Uggys civvie mates who took the title fair and square. Andy showed me his chopper, he even allowed me to sit on it, which was nice. Daz had wrestled with his engine on the way down with a major breakdown, like Craig Ballantyne, I have never seen Daz without oil on his hands!

Skegness was a great success and a practical alternative for those who would have had biblical journeys to get to kelso for the national, for me Kelso was an impossibility and I do feel as if I have missed out. I am the first to voice my support for the National Scooter Rallies but some times reality gets in the way. Skegness was ace, partying alongside other proud members of our club will never be taken for granted by me and the black patch of courage warms me at every sighting. The next outing for me scooter wise will be Holland in two weeks! Then of course W H I T B Y Brilllliannnnntttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!

Skegness By Taff Roberts

Oh So Bracing indeed!
The weekend was yet another success in the face of adversity and to reiterate my own previous comments and those made by Si B, we only need each other and a crate of beer to make a success of almost any situation.

I had set off fairly late in the day having been roped into doing some work at home. I set off on the GTS determined to beat the rush around the M25 and make my way onto the A1 to catch up with the Herts crew. The weather was relatively kind in so far that it stayed dry for most of the way and made good progress along route. It wasn’t until I reached the A1/A14 junction that I hit any sort of wet and even then I didn’t need to get my gortex trousers on.

This soon passed and I progressed along wet roads seemingly far behind the actual downpour. I never did catch up with the Herts crew but that was because they had gone to Plan X-Ray after Jeanette was hit by a car on her scoot and sustained injuries to her arm and wrist.

I think that fact that I chucked my GTS down the road on a patch of diesel may have had something to do with it too.

My own fall came about 50 miles out of Skegness in the Peterborough area, when I came off a roundabout and straightened up to take the road ahead, only the diesel patch didn’t want me to straighten up and off she went on her own little route. All of this happened at about 35mph, hurtling through the air offering my thanks that I hadn’t brought the Lammy. I only had my new crash helmet for 4 days, so that’s another one to buy this week.

As for the GTS! Its amazing how solid they are and they really do hold up very well. My handlebars were twisted and my headlight bulb had blown, other than that there were some nasty scratches up the side of the body panel. The bulk of the impact had been taken by the side stand and the main stand foot brackets. As for me, I had come down on my side and rolled only to get a bit battered and bruised, and aching throughout the whole weekend.

I continued my journey at a tentative pace once I had straightened out my handlebars and arrived into Skeggy at around 6ish.

The campsite was sought and found, as were the troops. I was so pleased to find Jeanette in relatively good spirits and getting on with things, even if they did all look pretty cold at that point. Sue Boon was safely enveloped into the club FOB having ridden her PK alone to the site for the very first time. Excellent effort and every cause to be as pleased with herself as she evidently was, grinning away throughout the remaining proceedings arm in arm with Bluey.

The greetings were made, as were the plans for the evening. This turned into a really good ‘breaking in’ session, conducted in the Whiskey-a-go-go and the Square Peg. We had no need to check out the main do. The drinks and hilarity were flowing freely with loads of tasty Northern being played. We were sorted!

It seemed other members and old friends were seeping from the woodwork at this point with some amazing surprise meetings from friends and colleagues of old.

Needless to say, there was a considerable amount of alcohol drunk that night, terminating in the great drunken hunt for chips at silly o’clock in the morning. Bluey and I returned to the hotel room with the realisation for Bluey that the ‘pop’ she had been so fervently drinking in rapid succession had caused the room to spin very very fast.

Saturday morning arrived all too quickly. We had completed the fight through and now it was time to regroup, so off we went to the campsite.

The usual leg-pulling about the GTS ensued, mixed with some small concern that I had dropped it en-route. This was the time to spring my dastardly plan and turn as many of them gay as I could. The discussion about the damage to the GTS turned into amazement at the speed attained and the torque and so my plan was hatching nicely.

Yes! I turned Uggy gay. He just had to have a go! So on he got and away he went across the field on a gay scooter. Now, I wish I had a video of this because when he got back from the other side of the field he was hooked. His face said it all. Gay is the way to go! Even to the point where Uggy got his chopper out almost immediately!

Andy had been toying with the idea of getting the new 300 when it comes out and he too needed to have a go. Yet again, another member bent over and took it for the team and was convinced of the way forward.

Aaron was next. He got on and managed about 60 yards before giving her a handful and learning all too well that the torque in a GTS will put you on your arse without even blinking. I am pleased to say that although he dropped the GTS, he did it on grass and had the decency to drop her on the side that was already damaged.

It was Bluey and Carl that ran over to see that he was ok whilst the rest of us saw from afar that he was moving and was up off the ground, and consigned the episode to experience with a group muttering of ‘oh well’.

Some very interesting discussion ensued from that little affair and I am determined that I can get a GTS engine into a Lammy frame by some means.

Saturday morning was taken up with the obligatory thrash around the stalls and the custom show. This proved fortuitous in that both Uggy and myself discovered our new dream scooters. There was a series 2 Lammy fitted with an auto engine and a GP that was fitted with a Piaggio auto engine. My ideas were brought to fruition! I knew a Piaggio engine could be fitted in a Lammy that remained slim and sleek and foregoing the duckbill front mudguard type.


I later met the rider of the GP and learned that it was fitted with an ET4 engine that had been furnished with a 185 kit. It did 75mph all day long without missing a beat. I just need to get a GP frame and panels now!

Most of the afternoon was spent riding around Skegness and the surrounding area looking for motorbike shops where I could get a few things for repairs to the scoot while the rest of the forward echelons made haste back to the bar to take in the whole fur coat of the dog.

The Saturday night for us was one of live bands in the main do. The first band on were called Contraband and actually should have been banned. The guitarist was excellent and had evidently chosen a set that would allow him to flex himself whilst the drummer couldn’t keep tempo if his life depended on it. The bassist was the consummate professional and just did his job with frills. Now the singer I think only got the title singer because every other role in the band had been taken. He wouldn’t have been so bad if he had actually tried to sing but was obviously too busy screaming and shouting at the microphone to be bothered.


I stood there looking on in awe while the smell of Johnson's talc permeated the air, only to find at the source of it was Simon jiggling his stuff and grinning like a madman, evidently being the soul sponge that he is.

The weekend in total had yet again been a brilliant one. We had faced adversity and come through and hopefully everyone got back safely.


They say that the bad things come in 3’s and I hope that count was fulfilled by Jeanette, Me and Aaron taking a bounce. Thankfully, we all survived and evidently Jeanette bore the brunt of it being the only one that sustained any measurable injury.