the AFSC  Skegness 2007

By Mik Boon

Whats better than a rally at Whitsun, sun blazing down , riding your scooter in shorts and flip flops. Ice cream on the beach and dossing in your tent in the clothes you’ve dropped in?
Skeggy in a fuckin hooly , that’s what. I have never , (well not since run to the castle 2005 anyway) seen such terrible weather for a rally. I have also never laughed so much in years.
The bank holiday weather forecast for the east coast had always been poor but even Michael Fish never expected this one. We left home fairly late on Friday morning waiting for a nasty downpour to turn into light drizzle. Sue riding her little PK to a rally out of town for the first time. Trev and Kathy on their GP Me on Best years and our mate Mandy , a rally virgin , on her PX. Apart from Mandy dropping her scoot at a petrol station we arrived about an hour later at the camp site without mishap. Piss wet through but without mishap. We were greeted by Rick 63 who had just about finished his erection. Sue had insisted we take the bare minimum as everything was being carried on the two scoots. Luckily, as usual, I refused to listen and took the big blue and grey tent, unless you are sapperbaz, in which case I took the big green and brown tent. I bet bomb disposal was a barrel of laughs with Barry, cut the blue wire sapper, No!!! that’s the fucking red one!!!!!!.
It was always going to be a low key AFSC meet with a southern area day at pompey , and others opting for the national at Kelso but we were joined quickly by Rob, Phill, sapper baz and Helen, Adam H and his mate and Mitch. Chris and Claire represented the suvvern div , and did them proud. Friday night is was the now traditional walk down to the Ship for a few. Our local band Circa were playing If you get the chance to see these lads go for it they are well worth the money to watch. Its usually nothing , but they are good. Then it was on to the streets nightclub to see Neville Staples ex of the specials. The organisers had done a good job converting the weekly sex dungeon into a scootering venue. No sign of chains on the wall or gimp masks, apart from the one Phill Little was wearing. More AFSC in evidence at the do with Dave Allen and family and Dazz the dogg making an appearance
Saturday and the weather looked a little better at least it was dry and warm. Unfortunately for us the filling Sue had last week fell out and left her in agony for the whole weekend trips to chemists for temporary filling kits, tickets sold for the show , all planned , scrubbed up and she spoilt the fun by refusing to lay out on the back of my scoot to have it done in open air. It didn’t work anyway so we spent two hours in skeggy hospital , I had a good long chat with a lad from Treakletown SC who had heat seized and come off at Boston breaking his wrist. We met Fozz on his own and feeling guilty since the birth of the baby. The prom was piled high with tidy scooters more than can be said for the custom show only ten in there and of those the only ridden machine was Mitch’s lovely understated series 2 mod machine. I heard rumours Si Cuerdon and Dai had turned up but I didn’t spot them at all, sorry guys. We ended up having a troll around skeggy’s pubs and going for an Indian, cos the featured band, The Ruts, had cancelled the gig. That didn’t particularly disappoint me but Bad Manners, due on Sunday also cancelled due to being double booked and on in Barnsley that night. Strangely I know a few West Ham boys who were going to Bethnal Green to see them as well. Whats all that about eh, Buster? Adam had been smarting from the constant piss taking from Phill and got his own back by fitting a sweaty sock over phills foxtail. I realised later I had taken the can for this.
Sunday was the funniest day ever, even funnier than when Auntie Mabel got her left tit caught in the mangle.It had started pissing down on Saturday night and was stiil howling down on Sunday morning when we woke around 7am most of the crew , indeed most of the site were leaving, Dazz and Phill had already left but Phill returned later with news that the crows rear hub had come loose. Parts fair supplied the tools and bits and he was away again hope there were no more drama’s mate.
The weather was shite and we had a discussion , stay or go. It had to get better so we stayed. Never has a decision been more wrong since Mussolini tossed a coin and said what do you think Axis? OK. First off a ride down to the parts fair for a mooch. Met up with Vince and Jacko, which was nice. Then we had a ride round skeggy , Me , Sue , Trev and Kath, Baz and Helen, Chris and rose sorry Claire, Mandy and prospective member Mark and his good lady Tina. Tina had come in a 4x4 and had her first taste of scootering on the back of Trev’s GP. Strangely she enjoyed the experience. We all ended up in the Lumley hotel for a great Sunday lunch entertained by Mark who “likes a drink of a weekend” Baz and Helen in his and hers lord Anthony Kagouls. Rose, sorry Claire eating the dry lining from 25 Cromwell Street as if it was candy floss. Coming out of the pub we heard music so popped into another to hear the buzztones a local 3 piece with a 19 year old drummer who was absolutely brilliant. After leaving believe it or not we got back to the scoots with sleet hitting our backs and all the clutch fluid leaked out of Tina’s car. I went off to a garage to get more while Trev sorted the repair. This was when I realised I had taken the can for Phills sock cos I found it under my seat when I filled the tank. Cheers Phill, revenge is a dish ……..etc.
We made it back to the campsite to find it almost deserted numerous tents had already been abandoned and blown away. We decided that since we had no more dry clothes we were going nowhere. It would have been stupid to go out on a night like that. No one told he birds in the bogs straightening their hair and putting there mini skirts on though. Tina and Sue drove into Skegness and came back with the best tasting Chinese takeaway anyone had ever seen. A few cans and an evening of Chris Brown ripping the piss out of Baz, Mark ripping it out of Rose, sorry Claire and me ripping it out of Mark and it was death o clock when we hit the sack completely knackered. We spent most of the night zipped up and cosy with the wind lifting the tent up and the rain coming in horizontally soaking absolutely everything. The howling only interrupted by the plaintive cry, “Barry! I can’t feel me legs. And Chris Brown sniggering from the next tent. We got up to see if the weather was better and guess what? Was it bollocks! No way could Sue ride her PK home in that , we had nothing dry or warm apart from our waterproofs, which trading standards will be investigating. I decided the only thing to do was come home on the scoots pick u the trailer and go back for her. We had Breakfast and said our goodbyes to Chris and Claire sorry Rose oh no it is Claire. Who had the unenviable task of a ride to Gloucester. Then rode home with Baz and Helen as far as the A18 turn off, with poor old Mandy struggling to get her PX home. Got home quick change into dry clothes, waste of time again, and back to skeggy with the trailer. We got there to find the place deserted apart from a chav wanting to nick all the abandoned tents, and the burger van stuck in the quagmire. We managed to free him and earned free burgers at the Cleethorpes rally. and got ourselves looking like a hippy at a music festival. Finally we got everyone and everything home by about 1500 hrs.
What a laugh we all had. It was all we could do to stop our sides splitting. For some reason none of the others fancied a run to Cleethorpes seafront when we got back.
Mik